I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
