I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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