Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
