so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
