Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
