im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
