The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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