you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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