just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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