Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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