my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize