if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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