And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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