1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
