Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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