You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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