I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
