is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
this hospital has no fireball
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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