we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
