i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Holy sore nipples Batman
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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