It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize