Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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