I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
