Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
