he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
