spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I am one with the molecules
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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