Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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