I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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