something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
