Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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