The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
