I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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