The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
