I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
