Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
