So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so let's talk penis.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
