If i come over, it means nothing
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
