My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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