Don't EVER smell your tampon
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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