I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
