Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
