i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
