garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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