i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Green mimosas i think yes
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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