You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
