just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
