bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
