It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
