no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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