sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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