I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
