There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm both gender and math confused
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
