take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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