I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
