Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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