New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
someone owes me an orgasm
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
