Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
