I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
