I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
