wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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