I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize