omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
