I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
