Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
