Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
can u get pink eye on your cock?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You're breaking my sexual little heart
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
