I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
