yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
