we're chasing vodka with high fives
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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